Wednesday, February 1, 2012

My Sojourn into a world of Authenticity and Honesty

Well, it’s been a great couple of months since Thanksgiving and I’ve had a wonderful few months of making new friends and dating. Last night I viewed an interesting Utube video from an LDS guy (titled Choices for a Gay Mormon), who discussed 4 options for dealing with his sexuality and religion. Interesting, definitely worth watching. There were lots of insightful comments, although I didn’t agree with everything he said.

There is an incredible amount of exhilaration, freedom, and happiness when freed by the chains of “self loathing” about one’s sexuality. Many LDS leaders have stamped homosexuality as a susceptibility, vice, cross to bear, handicap, trial, challenge, etc… I have personally found that when I fully accepted that God made me this way, and that God couldn’t make mistakes, it was electrifying.

This is an opposite perspective as opposed to what the church would advocate, that being gay is like having a cross in life to bear. How much further than the truth. There is no difference than a gay person embracing his/her sexual identity than a heterosexual individual.

Consider two different stages:

Stage 1: Convince yourself that you do indeed have a “vice” as given you by God that your inner sexuality needs to be suppressed and kept at bay. Convince yourself that the millions of people born attracted to the same gender was some kind of trial given by God, so that you would need to suppress your sexuality to see if you bore the test well.

Outcome: Well, I used to participate in a message board called Disciples2. Most of the guys on this message board participated in stage 1. They were the most dysfunctional group of guys around. It seemed that most were physically, emotionally, sexually, and relationship handicapped. It was so very sad. I can’t even begin to describe the depression and dysfunction associated with suppressing one’s sexuality while trying to participate in a church where homophobic comments have been common place and individuals are not accepted for who they are. Very tragic! The sad thing is these guys can’t see it. The outcome? Chains and shackles around the soul.

Stage 2: Accept yourself and celebrate your sexuality as a gift from a loving Heavenly Father. Let go of the “self-loathing” that there is something wrong with you. Celebrate that you are terrific, just as blessed as the next. Look for quality relationships with other gay men, and look for someone special you can spend the rest of your life with. Be honest in every way and feel no need to hide who you are. If you want to date a man, feel free to hold his hand. If you feel attracted to him, feel free to embrace and kiss. If you are attending church together, feel free to hold his hand or put your arm around him. Be yourself with no need to engage in secrecy.

Outcome: Greater inner peace with living an honest life.

Ok, maybe I over-simplified things a bit, but I’m trying to describe the difference between honesty and dishonesty.

What if someone says, “Well, we can accept that you’re gay, but just don’t act on it?” That would be a common line in the church. Well, reverse the tables--- would you say that to a heterosexual person? “We can accept that you’re a heterosexual, but just don’t act on it?”

I feel like getting on the housetops and shouting out some of the conclusions I've arrived at. It's fantastic! I have been dating and making new friends. More to come on that.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving/Getting Going Again

Hey everyone,
I'm going to try and start getting back into my blog. Wow, has this past year been a challenge and interesting to boot. But, with the challenge has come a greater understanding of what God's love feels like and who God is. For me individually, my background was from an orthodox LDS background. Many individuals in my family have been in church leadership.

I remember so many lessons in church where I was taught that to "question" was to plant the seeds of apostasy. How wrong that is! For me personally, I needed to question and understand, since no one could provide an explanation of where I fit in with the church.

So, the good news is I have received peace from God about who I am. I feel no need to change. I embrace being gay. I know that homosexuality is not a sin, unless, it breaks vows or commitments to others. How can God make a mistake? He doesn't! It would be a cruel joke to buy into the notion that to be gay is to carry around a "cross" or "vice". Why would a loving Heavenly Father do that? Would he really have me "self loathe" my entire life?

The good news is that the Lord loves all of his gay children and will bless us with just as many blessings as any other sheep in his fold. So smile :-)

Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Posting Again After a Year

Hey everyone,
I've taken a year's break from posting, but thought I would start up again. Lots has happened in the last year that has taught me a lot about myself. Tonight, I just wanted to say hi.

I have come to completely accept who I am. Yes, being gay is not entirely what I am about or who I am, but it is an important part of who I am. I have been on a whirl-wind tour believe me! I intend on writing sharing what has transpired. Cheers!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

No Additional Posts

I just wanted to let everyone know I have removed all previous posts. These past couple of years have been interesting times for me, but have been eye-opening. I used to get hung up on the probable "causes" or "contributing factors" of homosexuality. I also would hypothesize the "ifs" and "whys".

I have let go of all that and accepted who I am. To be honest, even if someone had a "magic pill" that would make me straight, I wouldn't take it. Being gay is definitely not all that I am, but it is nevertheless an important part of me. Engaging in that type of discussion was unhealthy for me. I aim to keep a positive attitude and keep my faith strong in God. I have everything going for me personally, and I know the Lord is on my side. (nice feeling!)